Fiction

...In continuation to 'Part 1'

Gave it time,
Tried to forget,
Got angry at life,
Cried myself to bed,
Still feeling so hollow,
Trying to keep you in my head,
Missed you madly while denying it,
Lost track of the tears I’ve shed.

Being so close and now so away,
It’s as if I’ve left a part of me behind,
If we keep going at this rate,
I’ll soon be hard to find,
You think I don’t know how you feel,
I may pretend but I’m not blind,
You yourself don’t know,
But to me, your soul is kind.

I look at my hand,
Notice the shape my fingers take,
And remember how your fingers,
Would fill the space mine make,
I’m scared to let you in,
Coz my heart…only you can break,
Unable to find the reality in this fantasy,
But what we have cannot be fake.

Told the friends there is nothing,
And got accused of being untrue,
Heard the same advice time and again,
“Make sure you let nothing brew,”
Suppressed myself to the tenth level,
Went against my entire crew,
Only to realize I can’t keep lying to myself,
Coz truth is…I’m in love with you.

Part 1

Kabhi kabhi jab beeta hua kal,
Bus mein kar leta hai aaj ka yeh pal,
Toh sochti hoon kab tak, kab tak,
Yaadein karengi raahon ko ujjwal.

Najane kab shuru hui woh daastan,
Najane kab dharti ban gayi aasman,
Chalte toh the hum aankhein khol ke,
Par najane kab badal gaya raasta.

Waqt ke saath saath badti gayi dosti,
Tez baarishon mein hone lagi masti,
Kareeb aa rahe the hum baaton ke zariye,
Jald hi pasand aane lagi ek dooje ki hasti.

Zyaada tez nahi thi chahat ki raftaar,
Phir bhi dil ka ek hissa bethe the haar,
Jis dosti ki masoomiyat ko na chherna chaha humne,
Uss dosti ki seemayein ho gayi thi paar.

Jaane anjane mein hum yaar ban gaye,
Aur “dost” ke naam ka kalakaar ban gaye,
Toofan se ladne ki koshish mein,
Hum bechari lehron ka pyaar ban gaye.

Sahi galat ki pehchaan kho gayi,
Mehfil ki woh pehle wali muskaan kho gayi,
Door kiya khud ko tumse, kyunki,
Is uljhe se rishte mein khud ki pehchaan kho gayi.

To be continued...

The empty page

I want to write and fill this empty page
But my thoughts can’t seem to gather,
They don't behave even when asked nicely
“Wouldn’t you be archived rather?”

An idea, a memory, a meaningful story
Can’t seemed to be caught with or without care,
Solely to be protected from the effects
Of the soul’s restoration and novelty’s flair.

I thought I had control over this mess
I was sure I knew which road to take,
But somewhere along the lines
I started believing it was all a mistake.

As I fill this page with a sense of void
I begin to comprehend,
It’s not about the thoughts that I can contain
It’s not about the beginning or the end.

If I keep writing without a plan
The text would lack rhythm, would lack flow,
If I keep going the way I am
I would never be able to let go...

Let go of the thoughts that contain me
Not the ones I hope to suppress,
I must let them fill the sky
Holding on is not worth the stress.

Some time has passed since I’ve been
Eyeing the big picture and doing my part,
Creating distances in places that were
Once ruled only by the innocence of the heart.

It’s tough having to keep the sails up during the storms
And maintain my forward stance,
But it’s even harder to keep reminding myself of why,
Why I chose to do this dance.

For a moment I even stop.
Stop and evaluate the steps I’m making,
I feel as if my poses might be the source
Of the sound I recognize… as a heart breaking.

I tip-toe to your side to check up on you
But find nothing abnormal in my inspection,
When given a chance to redeem, you act like your typical self
And unknowingly encourage me to resume my resurrection.

So it seems I’m determined now
To no longer reflect on stale thoughts from the past,
To let go and make room for my simple self
And to see this page filled at last.

Rain

One cold Saturday night,
She sat comfortably,
With her warm coffee,
Surrounded by deep, but patient, red walls,
People hastily walking to their destinations,
Explaining themselves loudly on their phones,
Rich mahogany sofas,
Looking intriguingly back at her,
Waiting to possess her listless being.

She, seated on a tall chair near the foggy, wet windows,
Didn’t acknowledge the notion of the sofas,
Didn’t hear the hurrying footsteps go by,
Didn’t hear the Starbucks employee,
Serving drinks with unusually long names,
Didn’t hear something so simple as tea,
Being called a ‘tall-non-fat-extra-hot-chai-tea-latte-for-Jen.’

All she heard,
Was the rain.
The innocent rain drops making their way down to Earth,
She enjoyed witnessing this grounding ceremony,
And would often observe,
From her own windowsill in her room.

As she watched the heavenly crystals make their way down,
She wondered, if,
In a far away place,
Someone was witnessing the same magic,
If someone far away,
Was trying to overlook the stubborn fog,
And see the rain clouds persistently block the moon,
If someone far away,
Noticed how beautifully the wet leaves glistened,
While asleep.

Hours had passed,
Before she realized she herself wanted to sleep,
And rest her worn out body,
Wishing only to be woken,
By his deep soothing voice,
Telling her how wonderful she sounds in the morning,
Telling her to just stay in bed,
Telling her how he missed her,
But, alas, her wish,
Would only be a wish,
For he himself was a raindrop,
That would never fall upon on her ground...

Samay

Arz kiya hai:

Mushkil se guzarte hain yeh khaali khaali se lamhe,
Is khamoshi ki khalish napasand hai humein,
Mann mein bikhre bezubaan sawaalon ke,
Shayad ab jawaab de payega sirf samay...

Zameer

Arz kiya hai:

Tumse baat karne ki,
Zameer ijaazat nahi deta,
Is doori ki gardish se,
Yeh dil sehmat nahi rehta...

Sauda

Arz kiya hai:

Phoolon ki aabru ko kaante kum nahi karte,
Chahne waale ki lafz-e-saza se aashiq nahi darte,
Resham ke hote hain dil ke dhagey deewano ke,
Phir bhi mohabbat karne wale dil ka sauda nahi karte...

Mehfil

Arz kiya hai:

Kissi ajeeb intezaar mein hai yeh mehfil,
Dheemi roshni ke bukhaar mein hai yeh mehfil,
Paimane ki pyaas bujhti hai jis dard se,
Uss dard ka shikaar hai yeh mehfil...

Qayamat

Arz kiya hai:

Imtehaan-e-ishq ki khidmat mein,
Is dil ke lafzon ki shiddat mein,
Na mila ik pal saanson ko chain,
Is adhoori mohabbat ki qayamat mein...

Under the sun

Arz kiya hai:

Suraj ki ghani roshni se jalti rahi,
Apni chahat se dur main chalti rahi,
Gham ko dabaa kar, yun muskura kar,
Raahon ki tapti dhoop mein pighalti rahi...

Tum

Arz kiya hai:

Beetey lamho ki yaadon ka khumaar ho tum,
Is dil-e-kastaa ka meharam nisaar ho tum,
Naseehat lena apni guzri harkaton se, kyunki,
Apni chahat ki haar ka khud gunehgaar ho tum...

Pehchana nahi

Arz kiya hai:

Jaana mujhe tumne par pehchana nahi,
Apna keh kar bhi kabhi apna maana nahi,
Kyun dete ho dil ki tamanna ko aasra,
Jab pal bhar ka saath bhi nibhana nahi...

Never fall...too fast

For the times when all you can do is to be strong and try not to fall... Arz kiya hai:

Do meethi baaton mein ban jaye koi rishta,
Nahi hai itni kacchi mann ki dor,
Do meethi mulaqaaton mein ho jaye kissi ka,
Nahi hai yeh dil kitna kamzor...

Lahoo

I hope no one relates to this :) Arz kiya hai:

Apna dard humne khud se hi kaha hai,
Meherbaan hai woh lahoo jo jeetey ji baha hai,
Kyun dosh dete hain hum kaanton ko,
Zakhm toh humein phoolon se mila hai...

Tujhse mil kar...

For the people who forever leave an impact on who we are. Arz kiya hai:

Tujhse mil kar kuch is tarha jiye hum,
Ki khud ko kuch aur samajh bethey,
Tujhse mil kar kuch is tarha marey hum,
Pal bhar ki judai ko poora daur samajh bethey...

Kyun

For all the answers we look for...that are better left alone :) Arz kiya hai:

Kyun hoti nahi pehle jaisi woh baatein,
Kyun rehne lage hain khafaa khud se hum,
Kyun aankhon mein numi chhod jati hain raatein,
Na tum jaano, na hum...

Taking the scenic route!

There is no time like the present...go get what you want :)

Saanson ki kashish mein kho kar,
Jazbo ko gehre samandar mein dubo kar,
Nikle the teri talaash mein hum,
Khud nazar andaaz ho kar...

Hasratein

For all those moments when the silence says a thousand words :)
Arz kiya hai:

Hasraton ne kiya zindagi pe aisa asar,
Na mili uss nazar se yeh apni nazar,
Hoti rahi baatein kuch ankahi, kuch ansuni si,
Nadan dil ko bhi na thi is dastaan ki khabar...

In the moment

Here it goes...my first sher on the blog. And quite honestly, one of my favorite ones I've written :) Hope you enjoy it just as much! Arz kiya hai:

Kal ki baaton ko kal hi kho jaane do,
Beeti yaadon ko soch kar muskuraane do,
Najaane kya likhegi aage taqdeer zindagi,
Is pal mein, filhaal, rooh bheeg jaane do...

Euphoria onset

Hello! I'm thankful you took out time to get a glimpse of 'Euphoria.' I'm going to start posting my written works slowly. Its mostly going to be shers (urdu couplets) along with other things. Your comments are much appreciated! I have to rush to class now....will write later this evening :)